Friday, July 20, 2012

America's Next Top Chicken Model

Contenders for America's Next Top Model              copyright: N. Shobe  

These are the finalists in America's Next Top Chicken Model.

To your left is Cleopatra, a Silver Phoenix. She's of a rare Japanese heritage, tracing her lineage back 1,000 years. She'll end up being a tad, shall we say, high-maintenance once her extra long tail feathers grow in. Reportedly, she's lousy on the production end--she'll lay only one egg per week. (She's still a pullet, so there are no stats yet.)

Rumor has it that Silver Phoenix's aren't friendly, but you can't say that about Cleopatra. She's an absolute darling, strutting her stuff whenever she has an audience. She's a gal who likes to poses. In the morning, she's often caught looking in the mirror, applying additional kohl eyeliner. The other hens swear that Cleopatra channels Elizabeth Taylor during meditation.

And, then, there's Super Swag or Zsa Zsa on her day's off.

The feathery Gold-Laced Polish, Super Swag, sashays her little backend all over the place. Her bouffant hair and her V-shaped comb set her apart from the other gals and she knows it. Primarily used for exhibition, she can't help but steal the spotlight. You'd think she was Polish with the name of her breed, but she's actually from the Netherlands. And, we all know how much American men love Dutch models.

Like all Polish's, she has that perfectly straight back. After the runway, you just know she's perfecting first position. Are the other hens jealous? You'd think they be but Super Swag's finesse seems to naturally fit in. Thank goodness, because rumor has it she has a stinging slap and that she's a serial marry-er -- nine times, in fact, or so we've heard. But, that's between us.

Ironically, these two birds contenders are best of friends, which doesn't often happen with America's top models. They promised me there will be no hurt feelings if you pick one over the other.

Go ahead and cast your vote. Which would you choose?

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